Rise of the Planet of the…Bees?

The year is 2018.  You and your friends step into the fresh air to sit down together and enjoy some lunch.  The sun beams out gently from behind some clouds, and the refreshing spring breeze flows across your face.  The scene is picture perfect, but as you prepare to take a bite of your ham and cheese sandwich, you see something out of the corner of your eye.  A distinct buzzing accompanies the small blur darting around your face as it prepares for its landing.  The black and yellow monstrosity looks around before finding the perfect landing pad – directly on your shoulder.  Fearing for your life, one of your friends yells out a warning cry of “BEEEEEEEE!”.  Panic ensues among you – screams, running, people tripping over each other in a mad dash to save themselves.  This scene may be just a touch dramatic, but it shows the harsh reality that ACP has a bee problem.

On the surface, bees may not seem like the biggest problem.  Telling this to a couple hundred high school students trying to eat their lunch in peace, however, would make you reevaluate the situation.  Students at lunch have been forced to evacuate their tables, as swarms of stinging monsters fly down to rain their vengeance upon them.  Trash cans serve as temporary bee hives, and students attempting to throw away their lunch must be careful, or risk getting stung.  One student (who shall remain unnamed) lost his retainer in a trash can, and had to have it retrieved by a brave lunch lady who has no fear of those swarming bees.  So how did this problem start in the first place?  The jury is still out on that one, but my best guess it that the “Save the Bees” people have been playing us this whole time.  Maybe bees were never endangered to begin with, and they are just taking our money for their own, secret reasons.  Whatever the reason, I’m sure there is more to this situation than meets the eye.

So what can you do in the meantime to protect yourself from this epidemic?  First of all, the bees seem to be attracted to fruit and other sweet foods, so avoid these unless you want to be swarmed.  Second, DO NOT attack the bees.  If a bee is bothering you, just let it do what it will.  They usually leave soon enough, but if provoked may sting.  Finally, and perhaps most importantly, remain calm.  I’m not 100% percent, but I think they can smell fear.  It is a dark and dangerous time we live in, and I wish you all the best of luck.